ashamed
adjective
UK/əˈʃeɪmd/US/əˈʃeɪmd/
Feeling embarrassed or guilty because of one's actions.
Example Sentences
She felt ashamed for lying to her friend.
He was ashamed of his poor performance in the game.
They felt ashamed after realizing their mistake.
She looked ashamed when she couldn't meet the deadline.
He was deeply ashamed of his behavior at the party.
The student felt ashamed when his teacher scolded him.
She felt ashamed to admit that she had forgotten her keys.
He felt ashamed of the way he treated his colleagues.
Thesaurus
Synonyms
Antonyms
How to Use
Feeling guilt, regret, or humiliation over one’s actions or shortcomings.“Ashamed” describes a personal, often painful emotion rooted in realizing you’ve violated social, moral, or personal standards. When someone feels ashamed, they might avoid eye contact, blush, or try to hide evidence of their misstep. This emotion can stem from small moments—like forgetting an important promise—or larger transgressions, such as cheating or betraying someone’s trust. The key is an inwardly directed embarrassment or regret, signaling that you recognize and regret your failing.In everyday life, people commonly mention feeling ashamed if they’ve disappointed loved ones or underperformed by their own standards. Sometimes the feeling manifests after receiving criticism, especially if it confirms worries about personal flaws. While moderate shame can motivate people to correct mistakes or apologize, excessive shame may trigger defensive behaviors or self-isolation. A balance is recognizing errors without losing self-worth, leading to healthy accountability rather than deep self-loathing.
Alternatives
For slightly different nuances: “embarrassed” highlights awkward self-consciousness, often about social missteps. “Guilty” emphasizes regret over moral breaches or harm done to others. “Contrite” implies sincere remorse and a wish to atone. “Mortified” underscores a more extreme humiliation. “Regretful” points to sorrow over an action’s outcome but might not always carry the same moral weight as “ashamed.” Each term captures facets of discomfort or sorrow, but “ashamed” specifically underlines a belief you haven’t met expected standards—whether societal, moral, or personal.
Writing
When referencing “ashamed” in writing, clarify why the character or subject feels this way—perhaps describing the error that triggered shame or showing their attempts to conceal it. If you’re exploring psychology, you might discuss how shame can drive people to evade responsibility or lash out defensively. In narratives, hinting at physical cues—a reddened face, averted gaze—reveals shame’s immediacy. Alternatively, depict the internal monologue to convey deeper self-reproach or fear of judgment. The weight of shame can serve as a turning point—sparking confession, apology, or transformation. Whether you’re drafting fiction or nonfiction, contextualize the cause of shame and its effects on behavior, relationships, or self-esteem.
Casual Conversation
In everyday conversation, “ashamed” typically arises around slipups or disappointments. A friend might admit, “I’m ashamed I forgot your birthday,” or “I felt so ashamed after losing my temper.” Colloquially, people say, “No need to be ashamed,” comforting someone who messed up a bit. If the topic’s more serious—like betraying confidence—friends might encourage acknowledging wrongdoing but also remind you not to stay stuck in shame. Social media or talk shows might feature confessions—“I’m ashamed to say I haven’t read that classic book yet”—framing minor personal failings in a lighthearted, relatable way. Generally, day-to-day references to shame revolve around minor goofs or mild regrets, with an undercurrent of needing reassurance or correction.
Etymology
“Ashamed” stems from Old English “āscamian,” combining “ā-” (an intensifying prefix) and a root akin to “scamu,” meaning “shame.” Early usage consistently pointed to feeling dishonor or disgrace for violating communal or moral expectations. Over centuries, the form settled into “ashamed,” retaining that sense of deep personal regret or embarrassment. In different cultures and languages, versions of “shame” or “dishonor” often revolve around social and ethical codes—emphasizing how integral shame has historically been as an emotional checkpoint guiding communal norms and individual conscience. Today, while shame can still be a harsh internal critic, it also serves as a reminder of personal standards and empathy toward those we impact.