A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning - John Donne
/A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning - John Donne/
An Intimate Farewell Embracing Unity in Separation
As virtuous men pass mildly away,
As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say
Whilst some of their sad friends do say
The breath goes now, and some say, No:
The breath goes now, and some say, No:
So let us melt, and make no noise,
So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move,
'Twere profanation of our joys
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.
To tell the laity our love.
Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did, and meant;
Men reckon what it did, and meant;
But trepidation of the spheres,
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.
Though greater far, is innocent.
Dull sublunary lovers' love
Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.
Those things which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refin'd,
But we by a love so much refin'd,
That our selves know not what it is,
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to airy thinness beat.
Like gold to airy thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so
If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixt foot, makes no show
Thy soul, the fixt foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
And though it in the center sit,
And though it in the center sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.
And makes me end where I begun.
John Donne’s “A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning” offers a tender perspective on parting that urges calm restraint rather than outward lamentation. Written around the early 17th century, the poem is often interpreted as Donne’s farewell to his wife, intended to console her in his absence. Donne frames the couple’s bond as transcending mere physical closeness, portraying it instead as a profound spiritual connection.
He begins by drawing a parallel to ‘virtuous men’ passing peacefully, suggesting that pure love should separate quietly, free of dramatic displays. Through metaphors of cosmic movements—like the gentle and barely perceivable ‘trepidation of the spheres’—Donne contrasts trivial, physical disruptions with the deeper, tranquil stability of true love.
A central image in the poem compares the lovers to two legs of a compass. Though one foot travels far, the other remains fixed and steady at the center—symbolizing that while physical distance grows, the emotional and spiritual connection ensures an eventual return, creating a perfect circle.
In addition, Donne confronts the theme of sublunary love—the type of devotion concerned with tangible senses. By contrast, the love he celebrates resonates primarily in the mind and soul, thus transcending worldly limitations. With understated eloquence, Donne assures his beloved that genuine affection does not diminish when the lovers are apart. Rather, like gold beaten thin, their bond only expands and becomes ever more refined.
“A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning” remains a timeless expression of a relationship built on profound mutual trust and respect. Donne’s witty conceits and philosophical tone affirm that if a love is anchored in shared spirit, no distance—nor even the threat of separation—can truly divide the couple. Within about 36 lines, he both soothes anxieties about parting and elevates the concept of love beyond the purely physical realm, making his valediction a testament to emotional fortitude and unity that outlasts distances.
Key points
• Encourages quiet, dignified parting instead of dramatic displays of sorrow.
• Frames true love as primarily spiritual rather than rooted in the senses.
• Employs a compass conceit to symbolize enduring unity despite physical separation.
• Emphasizes the transformative, refining nature of distance for strong bonds.